PRO: Pharmacognostic Mastery
The Master’s Dilemma: A Phytochemical Soliloquy
(In the style of Hamlet’s monologue by William Shakespeare)
Master’s Student:
To pass the Boards… that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous booklets,
The hail of test-plots, descriptors, and schemes,
Or to take arms against a sea of complex data,
And by mastery end them? To pass – to sleep;
No more; and by a Certificate to say we end
The five-year heartache and the thousand coffee cups
Spent over internship reports – ’tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish’d.
To pass… to sleep… to dream?
Ay, there’s the rub; for in that post-grad sleep
What medicinal plants may haunt our morning rest,
When we have shuffled off this Master’s coil?
Will it be iridoids that cloud our weary sight?
Or anthracene derivatives within the buckthorn bark?
Or saponins that foam within our very blood?
Who would bear the whips and scorns of time:
The anatomical features, the microscopy,
The Latin terms, TLC, and Quality Control,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a single, certain “A” upon the sheet?
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous booklets,
The hail of test-plots, descriptors, and schemes,
Or to take arms against a sea of complex data,
And by mastery end them? To pass – to sleep;
No more; and by a Certificate to say we end
The five-year heartache and the thousand coffee cups
Spent over internship reports – ’tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish’d.
To pass… to sleep… to dream?
Ay, there’s the rub; for in that post-grad sleep
What medicinal plants may haunt our morning rest,
When we have shuffled off this Master’s coil?
Will it be iridoids that cloud our weary sight?
Or anthracene derivatives within the buckthorn bark?
Or saponins that foam within our very blood?
Who would bear the whips and scorns of time:
The anatomical features, the microscopy,
The Latin terms, TLC, and Quality Control,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a single, certain “A” upon the sheet?
(From behind the curtain, a figure emerges with an “X-ray” gaze, clutching a stack of dissertations)
Master’s Student (In a trembling voice):
Soft you now! What vision strikes mine eyes?
Is it a phantom? The Ghost of a Professor,
Or the Spirit of the Opponent?
She comes… with the fire of knowledge in her eyes,
Holding my own presentation in her hands!
She does not merely look – she scrutinizes;
Every flaw within the anthraquinone rings,
Every bond, every carbon in the chain,
She finds it out, like a cold Roentgen ray!
Is it a phantom? The Ghost of a Professor,
Or the Spirit of the Opponent?
She comes… with the fire of knowledge in her eyes,
Holding my own presentation in her hands!
She does not merely look – she scrutinizes;
Every flaw within the anthraquinone rings,
Every bond, every carbon in the chain,
She finds it out, like a cold Roentgen ray!
The Ghost of the Opponent:
“A mere seven questions? ‘Tis far too few!
Where is the HPLC? The TLC? The dosage forms?
And why does Nitrogen sit wrongly in that alkaloid?
Seventy-nine more inquiries I hold,
That a Master may become a peer, and not a shadow!
Tell me: are all iridoids truly glycosides?
Is this a snare, or the transparent truth?”
Where is the HPLC? The TLC? The dosage forms?
And why does Nitrogen sit wrongly in that alkaloid?
Seventy-nine more inquiries I hold,
That a Master may become a peer, and not a shadow!
Tell me: are all iridoids truly glycosides?
Is this a snare, or the transparent truth?”
Master’s Student (With “Eureka!” in his eyes):
O, I remember! It shines as clear as day:
Cyclopentane and seco- – the glycosidic line.
But valepotriate – that is a triester!
Splendid! In its structure, sugar is but a stranger!
Cyclopentane and seco- – the glycosidic line.
But valepotriate – that is a triester!
Splendid! In its structure, sugar is but a stranger!
The Ghost of the Opponent (With a faint, approving smile):
“Well then… perhaps your Boards you shall survive.
To the defense we grant you leave. But the formulas – study them well!”
To the defense we grant you leave. But the formulas – study them well!”